There is a house, in a town called Gerrards Cross, where love was found and insecurities lost, it was the greatest house in all the world, where my parents raised 3 boys 2 girls and I had fun and I had security and I got fed and went through puberty and lost my virginity to a girl from GX, I was fifteen years old and desperate for sex, as most boys are,… usually this plays out in the back of a car but I was lucky enough to be blessed, with parents who took their rest, in the kitchen, the front room was our room to play in and sit in and one Saturday afternoon, all too brief and too soon, I was taken on a trip to the moon and my life changed, … love was forever, or not so it seems, my teenage dreams were just that, dreams so I went on a journey, seeking the comfort of others, convent girls & barmaids, friends of friends became lovers, and on a couple of memorable occasions their mothers, chasing too hard just to feel alive, but why?? 

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Time passed by and my siblings departed, to homes of their own getting families started, and as for me , I stayed, where I knew I was safe, with my mother and father and my young man dreams, surrounded by fabulous friends and familiar scenes, - the pub, the wine bar and cinema (with one screen). Culverkeys was my castle, my sanctum sanctorum, the go to destination where friends laughed loved and cried, where we met on the day Freddie Mercury died, so many parties and late nights, music and fun, high days and holidays rolled into one, Sex, drugs and rock and roll, my whole life was here, the house was the whole-world to me, where everything was possible and nothing was denied, where I would stay forever, safe and warm and satisfied. Where food was the bandage that healed all wounds, broken hearts healed with treacle tarts, dinner always at the table, eating together kept things stable, me and my mum and my dad… 

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I realise now – one thing was strange – there were just the three of us 

The portions never changed, 

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Mum cooked for seven even when the other four had left, her love was in every morsel and leaving something on your plate was to question her love so you ate, you ate everything and then you ate more and doing so wasn’t a chore, she was a great cook, roasts and stews, biscuits and cakes, a pleasure to eat everything that she makes, but boy I got big, then I got bigger, I was set on a path, where food is love & love is food, love is good and good is where I want to be…so now, when I need to change my ways, turn fat into fit, turn misery to joy, I must take the return journey back to the boy , back to when I was free, the love, security and simplicity…back to the days of CULVERKEYS…